About Me

mY naMe is gAbi.

I was born Gabriela, but the only people who call me that now are the boys when they’re trying to be chistoso. The only thing funny is the way they run away when I threaten to kick them in the- (Señora Estrada has told me to save my insultos for playground).

ApoLOgiEs iF yOU’ve aCcIDenTAlly fOuND yoUr wAy heRE bUt I’Ve gOt soMe aBuRRido tHiNgs I haVe tO wrITe tO pRovE a bAsIC kNoWLedGe oF EnGlISh:

Like, I am 14 years old. I have no brothers or sisters. I have two fish. They are called Mysterio y Ephesto.

Mi papá is a molecular biologist and mi mama is a housewife. Mi abuelita (papá’s mama) used to live with us.

I live in Tenochtitlan (that’s what Ciudad de México was called before the Spanish trampled everything – so they keep telling us in history classes – yawn!) I’ve lived in Ciudad de México my whole life. In fact everyone just calls our city ‘México’.

It might sound like a great place (it’s one of the world’s largest cities) but Mama refuses to let me go anywhere unsupervised. I can’t do anything myself, like go into anywhere with just my friends.

Pues, mira – I want to be free to enjoy myself. OK! Like, I know the city can be a dangerous place. It wouldn’t matter so much if we were poor. (OK we’re not rich but, you know what I’m saying, we’re not poor, not like some of the real poor people we got here in Mexico).

You don’t need to be rich to be kidnapped in Mexico. Pretty sucky, but that’s the truth. Just if you ahev a nice car or maybe go to a nice school, is enough to make you interesting. Newspapers are always full of murders and kidnappings. Mama has always said that we just can’t risk going out alone.

It’s just that round here all the faces are the same, and you have to put up with the same idiotas (tHIs mEaNS yOU KaSPeR caSTiLlo – thE nEXt TIme yOu sPReAd rUmORes aBoUT mE I’M gOInG tO tELl eVEryOne tHat yOU eStAS enAMorAdo dE lEOni MoREnO).

WhOOpS!